Circus
by DisasterInDaisyDukes
Summary: Bella is an acrobat in the circus with issues galore. Edward is the rich Catholic boy with the seemingly perfect life. Will they fall in love? Read & Review. AH.
1. Chapter 1

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Okay, new story. No, I haven't forgotten about my other stories but this was begging to be written (do I always say that?).  
Anyway, please review, I would be VERY grateful. Ask any questions about stuff you aren't sure about and I'll post the answers at the start of the next chapter.  
Love, QotS xxxx

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The day my father died, I wasn't told until I finished the show that night. At 5 o'clock that evening, my father, Charlie, had been found dead outside the caravan I shared with him and my Mom. I wasn't told until I came out of the ring after the encore, at 11pm. My father had been dead for six hours and I didn't know. I had thought that I would finish the show, go back to the caravan, take off my make up, hang up my costume and dissect the show while he drank his cocoa and I drank water (No weight gain for the star acrobat). But, no, I spent the night at a funeral home, still in my costume, before spending the next 3 days numbly going through my routines, over and over again, with a fake smile painted on my face. He was buried in a cemetery in the town. Each year we go back there, but it hurts all the time. The only time I feel alive is when I'm performing.

I was, and still am, one of the main attractions at Malvolio's circus, so my mother and Malvolio, the ringleader, decided to wait until I had finished the show in my sparkly silver leotard before telling me, so they wouldn't lose revenue from people demanding ticket refunds because the Star Of The Show wasn't there. Even the death of a beloved father, husband and stage-hand wouldn't be enough to stop the show at Malvolio's circus.

For the rest of my life, I will never forget Madame Rosita's words "Baby, I've got some bad news," Of course, Madame Rosita isn't her real name – my mom is called Renee. But as no-one would go and see a fortune teller called 'Renee' – people come and see Madame Rosita. For $10, people can have their palms read and their fortunes told, and maybe get some diet advice as well.

My first act is pretty simple, designed to thrill and excited the audience before the knife throwers, clowns and flame jugglers come on. I come on to the drum beat, walking forward slowly. Then I do a simple cartwheel, right to the centre of the ring. With some show, my trapeze comes down. I dance around it, before stepping on lightly. It rises up slowly, the beat getting faster – I swing around the wires before the trapeze comes to a stop. Then the lights go down, apart from the spotlight, which focuses on me – the music stops and then I step off the trapeze – the audience scream and squeal because they don't know where I've gone. What they can't see is the other trapeze, which is what I step onto. I swing out above the audience, where the spotlight finds me and the music starts again. There are screams and applause and I flip, twist and turn through the rest of the song and I leave the ring through the red velvet curtains, leaving the audience wanting more.

My second act is more complex, with ribbons on stick and then a tightrope act, where I leap into the air and then land again on the tightrope, which is about 15 metres about the ground. I used to be able to do it without a net, but after Charlie died, I didn't feel safe anymore because he wasn't the one checking all fixtures. I never fall, even now but Charlie was my safety net, and he's not around anymore.

Malvolio's is a world famous circus – I've been everywhere with them – England, Russia, Spain, France, Australia, India – but now we're home and doing a big "Final" tour because our ringleader (and lion tamer) is going to retire and hand the circus over to his son, Marco. Paulo's getting pretty old now.

Both Marco and Paulo know people in every town we visit, but even when I first heard about them, all those years ago, I knew the Cullens were something special. Every time we tour we go to this town, simply because they live there and Marco wants to visit them.

Marco and Carlisle Cullen had been at university together, and then after graduation, Marco had gone into the family business of ring leading, Carlisle became a doctor. Marco practically worships at his feet – Carlisle has done all the things he wants to do. Carlisle and his wife Esme have three children, one daughter, Alice, who is the youngest and doesn't say much, and two sons, Emmett and Edward. Emmett is the eldest (he's away at university now)and Edward is my age. I was about five when I met him for the first time and I have a huge crush on him. He's one of the nicest guys I know (not that I know many but the ones I do know are horrible), he makes me laugh and he is absolutely beautiful.

The Cullens always come on opening and closing night, putting all the performers, myself included, under a lot of pressure. Luckily, it went smoothly, for everyone, even Simonova, the flame thrower, who'd been struggling a bit in rehearsals. I looked for Edward and his family as I flew above the audience but everyone's face was a blur.

Usually, Paulo, Marco and the Russian gymnast Paulo was seeing that month would go out for a meal after the show. But this year was different. Six months ago, my mother and Marco had started seeing each other, much to my horror. To make things worse, she had moved into his caravan last month, leaving me alone in the old, slightly broken, eggshell blue caravan that I had grown up in. As Marco and my mother were together, she would be going to the meal and so that Edward (and Alice) would have someone to talk to, I was going along as well.

I had meant to slip off to the caravan, remove my costume and make up, and then meet everyone for the meal. But no, I had to be humiliated first. My mother didn't understand why I dislike people seeing me in my silver sequinned leotard with matching headband when I wasn't performing or why I would take my make up off and re-do it between performances. When I came off from the encore, everyone was waiting for me. And by everyone, I mean Mom, Marco, Paulo, Marialena (the gymnast), Alice, Carlisle, Esme and Edward. They were all dressed to go out.

Esme stepped forward and hugged me "You were wonderful, Bella," she whispered in my ear.

"Not ready yet Bella?" asked a booming voice. Everyone laughed. As I turned bright red, I internally cursed Marco. I really didn't understand what my mum saw in him. Sure, he was handsome, but he was an arsehole.

"I'm just gonna go and get ready," I mumbled and ran out of the tent. Getting ready fast was something I was good at; I'd had a lot of practise because of the shows. In six minutes, I was dressed in my favourite white lace dress and a black blazer with my purple brogues.

I rode with Mom, Paulo and Marco. Marco spent the whole ride telling my about what mistakes I had made in my act. I wouldn't mind, I knew I'd made a couple of mistakes, nothing that the audience would notice, but that somehow who was knew my routine might see but Marco made an incorrect toe position and a skipped cartwheel sound like the end of the world. Mom and Paulo, who was like my grandfather in some ways, said nothing, which really annoyed me. Marco, as usual was allowed to do and say whatever he wanted. He often reminds me of a spoilt child.

The restaurant was pretty upmarket. Suddenly I felt pretty shabby – I was suddenly aware that there was a hole in my blazer lapel that was covered by a brooch and that the toes of my shoes were scuffed. I glanced at Alice and Edward's clothes when they sat down. They were both in dark colours – my white lace stood out like a sore thumb – Alice was in a navy blue dress and Edward was in a black suit.

The food tasted so good. Or what I ate of it did. Marco and Madame Rosita limited what I ate – as an acrobat I had to stay as light I possible. I knew I had an eating disorder, and I didn't want one, but my eating regime had been the same for years and I was used to it now. When out in public, I had methods to avoid people noticing how little I ate. I would cut my food up really small, hide it under larger pieces of meat and talk lots to distract people from the fact I'm not eating much. It was better when Dad was still alive – he made sure I got enough calories and things. But now, with him gone, my meals were restricted. During the meal Marco and Madame Rosita kept giving me sharp looks and I knew I had to be careful about what I ate.

The best part of the evening was when everyone had finished and the Cullens and the Malvolio's were going their separate ways, Edward took me aside.

"Can I see you again?" he asked and smile at me. My stomach did several back flips.

"Sure," I smiled. I had dreamed about going on a date with him for years "When?"

"Well, I finish school at three tomorrow, do you want to meet up after that? How about I pick you up from the circus?"

"Sure," I said again. Was that all I was capable of saying? Had I turned monosyllabic all of a sudden?

"See you then," he said. And then the best bit happened – he leant in and kissed me. On the cheek, but still, it was a kiss. It kept me happy all the way home, and even Marco's complaining couldn't burst by bubble.

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REVIEW PLEEEASE! X


	2. Chapter 2

Here you are lovely readers....another chapter. Enjoy it and Review it please - I want to know if you like this story or not.

Love, Queen of the Superficial

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My caravan is very small. It's beautiful on the outside – eggshell blue with flowers that Charlie and I painted on the door when I was 13, about a month before he died. Open the door and on the right are a row of cabinets and a counter, all filled with my clothes – the one thing Marco actually gives me money to buy – and all my books and school work. Directly opposite the door is my shower/washbasin, which can be a little temperamental at times, and a slightly cracked mirror above it.

The rest of the caravan was taken up by my bed. It was essentially a giant mattress and there is more storage space around the top of it. Windows surrounded the bed on three sides, so there is always plenty of light, although it does mean that all the things that we stuck up on my wall were faded, but at least the disgusting peach coloured wall is hidden. The bed is so comfortable and so big that I can lie with my arms above my head and my toes pointed and I still can't reach either end. It is covered with blankets, pillows, duvets and sheets so it's really cosy, even if most of the pillows and things end up on the floor in the middle of the night. At the end of my show I would go and bury myself under the pillows and blankets and sheets and duvets and forget everything.

The morning after the meal with Cullens, I slept late and it was Jake who woke me up, banging on my door.

"Yo Bella!" He yelled "We gotta get to rehearsal!" I heaved myself out of bed, and swapped my pyjamas for my black Lycra leotard and an asymmetrical jersey dress. I opened the door to blinding sunshine – I couldn't believe how bright and warm it was – it was mid-September and I thought that by now the good weather would have come to an end. I nipped back in and grabbed my sun glasses and my straw fedora as I remembered my bed hair and red rimmed eyes.

"Ready," I said as I opened the door.

"Cool" Jake said. We fell into step together as we walked across the field that separated the caravans from the huge striped tent. Neither of us said anything – we didn't need to - Jake and I just had one of those easy friendships where we didn't need to talk – silence was comfortable for us, not awkward. I ran my hand over the long grass as we walked through the field, enjoying the tickling sensation on my palm and wrist.

"So Bells," Jake said "How was dinner last night?"

"It was pretty good," I said, unable to keep the grin from my face.

"Tell me," he said, nudging me with his shoulder - I nearly fell over – Jake was going to take over from his father as the circus' strongman. At 16, he had amazing developed muscles (not that I'd been looking – he spent most of his time with his shirt off) and could lift pretty much anything. Jake was really my only friend at the circus. Mom was always busy with Marco and fortune telling and running the accounts. Most of the other acts kept to themselves - the other acrobats didn't like me as I was the only one who got to perform on my own and they disliked me even more because I got to perform on my own twice, even though I was half their age. Jake was also the only one my age – there were lots of other young children around but they were too young too really hang out with.

"Well," I began, glad to have someone to share my excitement with "At the end of the meal, Edward asked me if I would see him again and I said yes,"

"Duh," Jake said, but I ignored him and continued.

"He's picking me up sometime after three today _and_ he gave me a kiss on the cheek when he said goodbye," I smiled again.

"Aww," Jake said, putting his arm around my shoulders "Bella's in love,"

"Shut up," I said, pushing him away.

When we reached the tent, we went into the ring and joined the circle that was already formed. After the reminders about costume maintenance and time keeping, we did a run through of the show. As usual, my routines were spot on, but Marco picked holes in it, which drove me crazy. In the end, I snapped.

"What the hell is your problem? Why don't you leave me alone? I didn't put a foot wrong in that routine and you know it!" Everyone stopped and stared at me. I barely raised my voice anymore. When I was a kid, I was really noisy, always talking (or singing), especially when I was around Charlie. But that had all changed now.

"See me after the rehearsal," Was all Marco said in this cold voice that scared me just a little bit. Then he and Madame Rosita went to talk in a corner, giving me glances as I practiced my cartwheels on the low tightrope. At 2 o'clock, rehearsal finished and everyone left. Only Marco and I remained in the ring

"Bella," The cold note was still there in Marco's voice.

"Yes?"

"I want you to change your routine,"

"Why? It's a good routine! You always say that it's what people come to see," I loved my routine – it used the same parts each time, just changed the order. Each part was a real spectacle and crowd-pleaser and the audience always loved it. My routine was the only thing in the world I was actually proud of and really cared about.

"You're not some kid any more. You'll be 18 soon, so your mother and I have talked and we have decided that your routine should change,"

"Do I not get a say in this?"

"No," I was taken aback by his tone "We want the routine to be sharper, edgier, sexier. You get the idea," _Sexier_? What?!? I didn't do sexy, I did interesting.

"No, I don't get the idea. This is my routine, I choreographed it myself,"

"Yeah, when you were thirteen. Sure, you mix it up a bit, so it's not always the same routine, but the basic thing is there. You're getting older and more mature, and the audience sees that. You need to grow up now. You can finish this run with your old routine – we've only got three weeks here and then two at the next town - and then during the winter break you can devise the new routine. We'll get your new costumes fitted as well,"

"I'm not doing it,"

"I thought you'd say that," he said "Which is why your mother and I have decided that you will be grounded unless you agree to do this. And I believe that being grounded means that you can't go out on your little _date_ this afternoon," The guy was blackmailing me! I couldn't believe it.

"Does my mum know you're doing this?"

"She was the one who suggested it," He said with an icy smile on his face. I sat down on one of the chairs by the ringside. Surely she wouldn't do this? She was my mother, I hadn't misbehaved recently and she knew how much this meeting with Edward meant to me. I stormed out. I had an hour until Edward was coming to pick me up and I didn't want to jinx it. I would talk to Mom later.

I was ready about 10 minutes before Edward arrived. I was wearing my favourite floral dress with a denim jacket and some scuffed silver pumps with my straw hat and a silver charm bracelet. I sat on the edge of my bed, twisting my fingers round in my lap. I'll admit it, I was nervous. I tidied all my make-up, clothes, stationary, books and bed just for something to do. I didn't think Edward was going to come in here but it took my mind off whatever we were going to do and in case he did come inside (which wasn't likely), it would be tidy.

I heard the purr of an engine approach. Peeking out of the window I saw a silver car driving through the gates. I could see Edward through his open window, so I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, locking it behind me. Turning around, I saw Edward pulling up beside me.

"Hey Bella," He called, leaning across the passenger seat to open the door.

"Hey," I said, climbing in and doing up my seatbelt. As we drove off, I wound down my window, enjoying the summer breeze.

"So, what did you do today?" He asked smiling at me as he turned out the gate.

"Rehearsed my routine, argued with my Marco – the usual - what did you do?"

"Went to school and got some pretty good news,"

"Oh yeah? And what's that good news?"

"My mom's gonna have a baby!" He was smiling really widely now. He was so happy.

"Oh my God! Congratulations! No way! When did you find out?"

"My parents took Alice and I for lunch. They told us then,"

"Oh that's so great! How far along is she?"

"Three months,"

"So she's due in March?"

"Yeah. I can't wait to be a brother again,"

The rest of the conversation flowed just as easily. We talked about Edward's car, which Carlisle had given him as a birthday present. I couldn't imagine anyone buying someone else a new car for their birthday – it was so extravagant and expensive. My favourite birthday present was a locket Charlie had got me when I was 10. He hadn't got me the chain – I already had one – but he got me a heart shaped locket to put on it. It was dented now from where I had rehearsed in it, but I loved it.

As we drove into the heart of the city and Edward left his car in an underground car park, my nerves shot up. I was on a date with Edward, in the middle of a city I didn't know that well. Then, as we stepped out of the lift, Edward put his hand around mine and squeezed gently. I knew everything was going to be okay.

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This is your chance, your moment, if you will - REVIEW! It's like voting, but with less significance to the counry but more opinion.

Also, this may be my last update for a while as I am going to Normandy and then Tuscany. In both places there is NO INTERNET. God only knows how I will survive.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay. Another chapter. Good. This will be the last update for a while because I will be in Tuscany.

Enjoy and review this chapter pleeeease!!!

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"Mr Cullen? Mr Cullen!" The sound of my name broke me out of my reverie.

"Yes sir?" I looked at my teacher.

"Ah, that's better. I have your attention now,"

"Sorry sir,"

"Daydreaming is not a good start to the year, is it Mr Cullen? Please move and sit with Miss Stanley so you won't be distracted by whatever is going on outside the window,"

"Yes sir," I gathered up my books and bag, and edged my way across the classroom, sighing internally. I'd got the best seat in the class – by the window that looked out onto the courtyard with the fountain, but also next to the radiator, so that I could be warm in winter and cool in summer. Then I'd started thinking about seeing Bella last night, and then seeing her again after school and distracted myself. And now I was sitting next to Jessica Stanley. Of all the stuck-up, arrogant, spoilt snobs at my school, she was my least favourite. I loathed her.

I could see her preening as I walked up to her. I knew she liked me, she made it no secret, and she was very pretty, but I hated her. However, I couldn't tell anyone apart from Alice this as our fathers worked together and it would also be very impolite. As I set to work on my Calculus, which I had nearly finished even though there was still half of the lesson to go, I could see her looking at me curiously, probably thinking "What a nerd", which is how most of the school sees Alice and I.

I'm not unpopular, but I keep to my group of friends and I do enjoy school, unlike most of the people here, who only go here because they can afford the fees and so that they can say that have been to this school and then use its name and more of their money to get them into the Ivy League colleges.

I'm not saying that my family isn't rich – far from it – we have a lot of money – but I don't like to flash it around more than I can help. Alice and I are regarded as being poor at school because my car, although new, is not a Ferrari or a Porsche (not that I don't want one but Mom won't let me have one), and we don't buy our school uniform from designer labels and we eat in the school cafeteria.

I was in the very empty cafeteria at morning break when my phone rang – it was Emmett. Of course.

"Yo bro!" He shouted down the line – sometimes I wonder how we can be related – Emmett is always loud, always in motion and has a very short attention span, while I am much quieter, only really speaking when I feel the need, not just for the sake of it and can play the piano or sit and read a book for hours. "How did it go last night?" he said "Did ya do it?"

"Yeah, I did,"

"Yeah you did! Finally dude! I still can't believe it took you so long!" This was easy for Emmett to say – he'd never not had a girlfriend from the day he turned fourteen – not that he kept them very long. I so abhorred the girls at St. Marcus' Catholic School for Girls and Boys that I had never had a girlfriend "What did she say?"

I couldn't keep the grin off my face "She said yes," At that moment, Alice sat down opposite me "Who said yes? Who's she? Is it Bella? Please don't say it's Jessica Stanley. Do you know why Mom and Dad want to take us to lunch today? What's their 'big news'? Wait - are you talking to Emmett? Edward - can I speak to him?" She said this very fast – I nearly didn't catch it all.

"Of course she said yes. You owe me 20 bucks next time I see you, which will be in a few weeks – I want you guys to meet Rosalie. So when are you two going out?"

"Tonight," This answer set off a response from Alice again – not saying much to her peers at school meant that she had to let off a lot of steam whenever she was with family member.

"What's happening tonight? Where are you going? Somewhere with a girl? Edward! Tell me! Or at least let me talk to Emmett! I can hear him you know,"

"Is that our little sister's high pitched tones I can hear? Let me talk to her. And have fun tonight Ed – you've been waiting for this long enough," I could hear him laughing as I handed the phone over. Whenever Alice and Emmett were on the phone together, they could talk for hours. As I went to get another pain au chocolat, I could see her gesturing wildly as she told Emmett about what Bella was wearing last night, what she said to Alice, what she said, what we ate etc.

Alice had the teeniest case of hero worship when it came to Bella, and it was obvious why. She was the only person who wasn't in our family that actually spoke to Alice. At school, Alice's short hair and natural slim frame made her an outcast in a school of Barbies who starved themselves until they could fit into a size zero. The stutter she had finally rid herself of last year after extensive speech therapy didn't help her case either.

The reason behind Emmett's phone call was that on Sunday morning, he had called me still drunk from some party he'd been to the night before, and had wanted to chat. He knew how much I liked Bella, but I'd never really acted on it because I didn't know whether or not she liked it – she was always so cryptic with her answers. Usually I can tell what people are thinking or about to say, but Bella gives no clues at all. After about fifteen minutes of drunken pestering and the revelation that he had not gone to bed yet and that I was seeing her that evening, I finally agreed to ask Bella out for a date, for some coffee, or to see a movie.

After lunch, where my Mom's pregnancy was officially announced (I knew already), Alice and I headed back to school. While she talked about baby names and baby outfits and babies in general, I thought about Bella. Nothing had changed really.

As Bella stared hungrily at the vast array of patisserie on display in the café, I thought about the conversation I had heard the night before. I was heading downstairs to get my book and a glass of water when I heard Mom and Dad talking in the dining room.

"….I wonder, though, do you think Renee knows? She's so thin and delicate…and I know acrobats are meant to slim but there is something wrong with her," Mom sighed.

"Esme," Dad said "I'm sure Renee knows. I was watching Bella and her mother, after what Renee said about Bella last time we saw them, and I think that Bella did want to eat her food,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she started off each course with such enthusiasm, and then she'd look up towards our end of the table, and then slow down, until she stopped eating completely," I wasn't sure what they were talking about – Bella had an eating disorder? I thought about what she was doing with her food during the meal, but I couldn't remember.

"But I didn't notice this, at all,"

"I normally wouldn't have, but I was talking to Dr. Snow about eating disorders in teenage girls just last week. Apparently they have 'distraction techniques', so that you don't notice that they are not eating. Bella, for example, rearranged her food over and over again, and then hid it under her knife and fork. Some girls will transfer the food into their napkins," Carlisle was using what Emmett called his 'lecturer's voice'.

"Poor thing. I wonder what caused it,"

"I think I can hazard a guess," By now, I was kneeling down, my eye to the keyhole, watching them. They sat with their hands entwined on the table beside their cups of cocoa.

"What do you think it is then?"

"This seems to have all started after Charlie died, God rest his soul," Dad said.

"That does explain it. I hope it doesn't happen to the little one," Mom rubbed her belly with her free hand, and something clicked. My parents strange behaviour, Mom's trips 'shopping' at strange times when she would come back with nothing, the strange meals she'd had Maria cook for us and the fact that she'd stopped having wine with meals. I pushed up off the floor in a daze and headed back upstairs, my glass of water forgotten.

"What do you want?" I asked. Suddenly, having food seemed like a bad idea. But I was pretty sure I'd heard her stomach rumbling in the car.

"I can't decide," she said, licking her lips involuntarily

"Between what?"

"The raspberry tart and that really big macaroon," She pointed at them both through the glass case.

"Okay," I said "Let's get both,"

"Both?" She said, like she didn't quite understand the concept.

"Sure. We'll cut them in half and have one half of each. Then, technically, we've only had one and we don't have to feel guilty or greedy," As soon as I said it, I wanted to gather up what I said and put it back in my mouth. A strange look had come across Bella's face. But as soon as it appeared, it disappeared again.

"That sounds great," She smiled at me widely.

"Go and find us a table and I'll get our drinks and pay,"

"At least let me pay for my stuff," she said. I didn't know why girls did this – I was trying to be gentlemanly and generous and she was just shooting me down. When I asked Esme, she said it was pride. Most of the time, I would have said okay, but I knew Bella didn't have much money (information from another conversation I overheard between Mom and Dad – they needed to start closing doors when having private conversations) and I didn't want her to have to pay for some over priced, but delicious, patisseries.

"No, Bella, this is my treat," When she frowned I said "Next time?" Hoping that there would be a next time.

"Sure," she said and threaded her way through the tables of women with beige washes and dogs in their bags to my favourite table, which was by the window and looked out onto the street.

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Any thoughts/suggestions/ideas? REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4

Another chapter up! Review please! xxx

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"What do you want?" Edward asked. _What did I want?_ Everything. I wanted to eat the macaroon, the raspberry tart and that giant chocolate cake that was about a metre wide without feeling guilty. I wanted a milkshake, an ice cream float and a burger and chips from Dinah's Diner. I wanted gummy sweets and pair of black suede peep toe heels to wear with the little black dress that I didn't have and a sweet little Chanel bag that I had a picture of on my wall. I wanted my dad to not be dead and I wanted Edward to tell me he loved me.

"I can't decide" was my pathetic response. As I pointed out the cakes that were practically calling to me, I could feel myself salivating. I hadn't wanted food in such a long time but it didn't really matter anyway – I'd only have to miss a meal or get rid of it later. I'd have to tell Marco and Madame Rosita if I had eaten anything so that they could decide how much I should eat for dinner.

"Okay. Let's get both," Edward said.

"Both?" I echoed. Having both seemed like such a luxury – literally having your cake and eating it too. Edward calmed my anxieties down when he said that we could split the cakes, but they rose up again when I remembered that the cakes had to be paid for. I relaxed again when Edward insisted on paying – I had very little money left – I'd had to hunt in the linings of all my bags for some loose change.

When Edward brought the food over to the table, and I took my first bite of my half of the tart, I nearly cried with happiness. It tasted so good. I took one bite and another and another and then I looked up. Edward was smiling at me, like I was his favourite thing in the world or something.

"Are you enjoying that?" He asked. I looked down at our plates – my tart was nearly all gone and he'd only had one bite. As I watched, he picked up his macaroon and neatly put it into his mouth.

"How did you do that?" I couldn't believe it – the macaroon was huge, even when cut in half. Edward started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I demanded. By now his shoulders were shaking.

"Your face..." He choked out "You look so surprised," His laughter was infectious and I found myself laughing too.

As well as the cakes, Edward had bought us these huge glasses of hot chocolate in little metal holders. They were topped with cream and marshmallows and they were delicious, but I could feel it running through me and settling on my hips and stomach. My appetite felt satiated for the first time in a long time. Edward looked so handsome in his school uniform, not that you'd know that was what he was wearing – he left his blazer and tie in the car and wore a black jumper over his white shirt. He looked so handsome and he fitted in perfectly with the restaurant décor - white walls that perfectly matched the black and white marbled floor. All the tables had white tablecloths over them and there were candles and flowers in the middle of each one. Everyone there, apart from me, was wearing black or white, or some other muted colour. I stood out like a sore thumb, but I was glad I had left my hat in the car. Soon, being full became uncomfortable, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

As I went to the end stall, and got down into my regular position - kneeling on the floor with my elbow on the toilet seat, ready to put my finger down my throat – I wondered what I was doing. Why did I need to make myself feel sick? Who was I doing it for? Not myself, certainly. I sat back on my heels. I didn't want to make myself sick, and when I thought about it, I did like being full. It reminded me of when Charlie used to cook me dinner and we would sit on little camping stools with the plates on our knees.

I stood up, used the toilet for what it was designed for and wiped the dust from my knees. When I washed my hands, one of the ladies who Edward and I had been giggling at because she had a dog in her bag complemented me on my bracelet. This was turning out to be a really good day.

As we left, with Edward leaving a hefty tip on the table, he took my hand as we walked along the road. It was casual; he didn't make a big deal about it, just slipped his hand around mine and smiled at me. When his hand touched mine, I felt a thrill run through my body. He was so gorgeous and handsome and kind and genuine and sexy. I could get lost in his eyes – they were emerald green and seemed to go on forever. I smiled back at him.

"C'mere Bella," he said, stopping in the of the pavement, still holding my hand "You've got something on your, um, mouth," I swiped for it with my tongue, but I must have missed, because he chuckled and lifted his spare hand to curve around my cheek, and brushed something away from the corner of my mouth with his thumb. And then he kissed me. It was a proper, real kiss, not just a peck. His lips were soft and they tasted and felt like the marshmallows from the hot chocolate. I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms from around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I could feel his lips smiling against mine as we kissed. It was the best day ever.

We kept walking, so I wouldn't be back late, but we kept stopping so that we could kiss again. When we got into the car, the atmosphere changed. It was tense, but I wasn't sure why – Edward and I would glance at each other and then look away quickly. I fiddled with the dials on the dashboard, hunting for the air conditioning but accidentally turned the radio on instead, making us both jump and breaking the tension very effectively.

I tuned it in and soon we were happily singing along to a cheesy local radio station

"I wouldn't have pegged you for a Pussycat Dolls fan," I laughed as Edward stumbled over the words to When I Grow Up.

"I'm not," He said, laughing as well "But Alice loves all this stuff and she plays it really loud and sings along and I'm not going to deny that it's actually quite catchy,"

"Alice plays stuff loudly and sings – really?" I was surprised she was always so quiet.

"She's quite loud when you get to know her – she's just very shy,"

"I bet she's really sweet,"

"She really is. Do you, um," Edward paused to turn round a sharp bend, biting his beautiful lip as he concentrated on the road "Do you, want to come over on Sunday, and meet everyone?"

"Like, meeting your parents and shiz you mean?" I said. Meeting the parents was all well and good when you had been dating for six months, and besides Esme and Carlisle knew me already. Then I remembered Edward was a good Christian boy and that he had been brought up properly, unlike the classless trailer trash that I was. And then I remembered that I had taken the Lord's name in vain several times during our date. I felt very embarrassed.

"I'll pick you up after I've been to church then," He said. I folded my hands in my lap and stared out of the window.

"Is that what it's really like?" He said suddenly.

"Is what really like what?" I was confused.

"The song," He gestured to the radio, which I had tuned out so I could think. The song was Circus, by Britney Spears.

"I think that-" Then I hesitated. I had never really spoken about the circus with anyone except Charlie and the people I performed with "I think that she's wrong, when she says there are only two types of people in the world, but being in the ring is exactly being on the dancefloor by yourself. It's very scary, and the audience is very intimidating. Then you remember that you can't see them or make eye contact with them, so instead you just forget about it and do the routine. They don't know if you mess, unless it's really obvious," It was nice to talk about it.

"When would it be obvious?"

"If I fell off the trapeze,"

"Ah,"

"Yeah,"

"So, what other tricks can you do, other than tightrope, trapeze and cartwheels?"

I reeled the list off - I was used to it - whenever knew acrobats joined, they would list their talents, and then I would list mine "Somersaults, riding any animal bare back, standing on the elephant's trunk, riding the motorbike part way up the Wall of Death, juggling fire and stuff. The usual,"

Edward let out a low whistle "You can do all that? Seriously?"

"Yeah,"

"Then I am very impressed," The car drew to a stop and I realised that we were outside my caravan. Remembering that I had some manners instilled in me, I said "Thank you for taking me out, Edward, I had a wonderful time,"

"I did as well," He said and I opened the door. His hand curled around mine.

"You're leaving without giving me a kiss?" He pouted and made this really cute puppy like face.

"Of course not," I said, pulling the door shut.

As I changed into my leotard, I caught sight of myself in the mirror that hung next to my high school graduate diploma. My lips were swollen and my hair was mussed from where Edward had run his hands through it. For the first time in a long time, I was smiling unconsciously. That smile was soon wiped off my face, when my caravan door opened.

"Ah, Bella, just the girl I was looking for," said an icy voice.

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Just FYI, Edward is already 18. Bella is currently 17. I forgot to mention it in an earlier chapter.

REVIEW PLEASE! Go on, just write one word, that's all I'm asking for - you know you want to....


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to post this. I wrote this while in Tuscany, and while I had internet access, it was limited and not enough to post this (ie. the connection would last 30 seconds and then die). So here it is. This is a little filler chapter, before I get down to the main plot line, which may take a few chapters yet, I'm still trying to create the characters.

Please review, I would really appreciate it. I am very happy with constructive criticism if that's what you want to give. Or just one word would be great.

xoxo QOTS

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"Hi Mom," I sighed. The food patrol was already checking up on me.

"I heard about your tantrum," She said.

"It wasn't a tantrum; it was a justified reaction," She came into the caravan and looked around. Once she'd moved in with Marco, she'd stopped coming in here – it had changed quite a bit – she fingered one of the photos hanging on a cupboard door and ran her hand over the cranberry coloured wool I was knitting into a cardigan, before turning her gaze to me.

"Bella we need to talk," She wiped some imaginary dirt from the edge of the bed and perched onto it.

"Okay, talk," I said. As I tried to zip up the back of my leotard, which was giving all kinds of gip, I decided I wouldn't get cross with her, I would stay calm and mature – I was nearly 18 after all.

"Your routine needs to be changed Bella,"

"Okay," I said again "Why?"

While Mom spent the next ten minutes explaining to me why everything had to change. It turned out that she and Marco were trying to expand the circus with lots of promotion. It turned out that they were trying to break countries that we hadn't been to before when we went on the world tour and, as usual, I was going to be the main attraction. Which meant posters, TV adverts, the works. All of this meant more money for the circus, i.e. Mom and Marco.

When she was done, she swept out with a dramatic swirl of chiffon and beads. She didn't even wait for me to say anything – I was just expected to do what I was told. I was proud with myself for not getting cross – when I got cross, I tend to cry, which didn't help my cause – but it did mean that I stuck going on another tour.

I was surprised she didn't mention the food but it wasn't like I was going to mention it to her. I guess she trusted that I would follow her stupid rules after so long.

Jake met me and we walked across the field. He seemed to be able to tell that I didn't want to talk and just walked along aside me as I snapped the heads off the wildflowers, taking my anger out on them instead of Madame Rosita.

"So things didn't go that well with Edward then?" Jake said.

This surprised me "What do you mean?"

"Well, you seem kinda angry,"

"I am _not_ angry,"

"Well, I'd agree with you Bella but you practically just growled at me,"

"I'm not angry with Edward, we had a really nice time,"

"Then is it Madame Rosita?"

"Yeah. She's just so…so….ugh," Jake just looked at me, waiting for me to finish "She just…infuriates me and I get angry and tongue tied so I can't tell her what I think. And cos I'm angry I'll probably mess my performance later. But….ugh….she makes me so mad - she wants me to be here _forever_,"

"Forever?"

"Like, I don't get any choice; I want to do other things,"

"Do what Bella? We have the perfect life here,"

"You're kidding right?" I had always thought Jake and I were on the same wavelength about escaping circus life.

"I'm not Bella. Why would I want to go anywhere else? I get to see all of these amazing places and I get to do what I love to do with my friends and family by my side. It's perfect,"

"Well, Jacob. It may be perfect for you, but not for me. All we see is the inside of the big top when we go to these places, we have to practice all the time – it's not that I don't enjoy doing my tricks but being forced to do it in stupid costumes for a bunch of people I don't know or like makes it less fun. I want to live my own life, and go to places that I want to go to. And you forget Jake that I don't have a family," I walked away from him quickly, biting my lip to stop myself from crying.

"Bella!" Jake caught up with me easily "You have a family – your mom, me?"

"No, Jake, you're my _friend_, not my brother. And my mom has done a pretty shit job of raising me. Charlie was my only family and he's not coming back so I'm pretty much alone," This time when I walked off, he didn't follow me.

I did my make-up backstage, at the cracked mirror. My reflection was distorted in the image, and it made my face look as though I had three eyes. Over my shoulder, I caught sight of someone very familiar.

Edward. He was sitting in the second block of stalls, which meant I would swing right over his head. He had something in his lap, which clasped in his hand when he stood up to let other people past him. My hat. In all the excitement (if you want to call it that) I had forgotten that I had put it on the back seat of his car, with his school blazer and then his kisses had distracted me and I'd never picked it up, which meant he had come back just to give it to me, which was so sweet and lovely and thoughtful of him.

I did my routine, adding in a couple of flips and spins to keep Marco and Madame Rosita happy – but still proving that I didn't need to be sexy to entertain the audience – I left the ring to wild cheers and applause. The rest of the show passed quickly. I sat where I could see the audience but in the backstage dark, they couldn't see me, so I watched Edward. He laughed at the clowns and winced at the knife throwers and stayed in his seat, texting on his phone during the interval.

When everyone came on for the encore, it was my turn to ride Matilda, our elephant. As I stood on her back, arms outstretched, i searched for Edward in the audience. I saw him, staring at me with a strange expression on his face. I caught his eye and smiled widely and he smiled right back.

I went to look around the curtain when we came off, to try and catch Edward's eye but his seat was empty when I looked. Where had he gone? Dejected, I headed back to my caravan. After closing the curtains around my bed, I sat down and wiped my make-up off. I tried to undo the zip in my leotard but it was stuck. It was at exactly the wrong angle to undo which made it difficult to take off on a good day but today, some of the fabric had got caught, making it impossible to remove without going to find my Mom and I really didn't want to see her right now, which meant that I could have to cut myself out of it, and destroy my favourite leotard. I hunted around in my drawers for my scissors, but I couldn't find them.

Screaming in frustration, I threw myself down on my bed, covering my face with a pillow. I lay there until someone knocked on my door.

"Come in," I yelled, not bothering to move. It was probably Mom coming to continue our argument.

"Hi Bella,"

"Edward!" I squealed and jumped up off the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck. I was so pleased to see him. He wrapped his arms me waist and kissed me.

"You were brilliant tonight," he murmured.

"Thank you," I said "But what are you doing here?" I knew, but I wanted him to say it anyway.

"You left your hat in the car, and…um…well, I wanted to see you again, before Sunday," Well, the hat part I knew.

"I wanted to see you too," I whispered in his ear. He smiled down at me and then kissed me again.

"Do you want to come for a coffee?" He asked. I sighed and looked at my cracked cupboard door. "I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to…" His voice trailed off.

"I do want to!" I said, realising my sigh could be understood as reluctance and not annoyance "But my Mom is pretty strict about me going out,"

"That's okay," he said, pulling away slightly "Maybe another time,"

"It doesn't mean we can't not do something, Edward, it just has to be within the field. We can hang out here if you want," I gestured round my caravan.

"Does that mean you'll explain that high school diploma hanging on your wall?" I took this to mean that he was staying.

"Yes. Just let me get changed first," Edward nodded, put my hat on the shelf and left the caravan. I turned round to have another attempt at undoing the zip, but it just wouldn't judge. I opened the caravan door, and looked around for Edward – he was leaning against the side, trying to look inconspicuous – it wasn't working.

"Edward," I called softly "Can you do me a favour?"

"Sure," He followed me back into the caravan.

"I need you to undo my zip," I said, turning around, feeling very embarrassed. No, more than embarrassed. Mortified was more like it. "It's stuck. I think there might be some material caught in it," I added.

The leotard I was wearing was silver and covered in droplet style, diamond-like jewels, but unlike my others, it was strapless, a sort of bustier style with a low back. It had been very expensive and was unique – designed to fit me perfectly.

Edward gently ran his hand partway down the zip.

"Yeah, there's some fabric caught in it," he said, sounding just as embarrassed as I did.

"Will it come out?" He didn't say anything but I heard the zip being slowly pulled down, until it stopped. He wiggled it around and I felt the bodice part loosen. Suddenly remembering the costume was strapless I held the top of it around myself. I looked hurriedly at my bed for my pyjama top, when I remembered I had thrown it in the redundant sink on the counter next to the door.

"I think it's fixed," He said "I'll…er…just let you get changed,"

"Wait, Edward," I didn't turn around but I heard him stop "There's a black t-shirt in the sink – could you pass it to me?"

"Where?" I heard him looking around "Oh, yeah, got it," I held my free arm out behind me and clenched by free hand around the soft cotton.

"Thanks," I said, pulling my arm back

"I'll just give you a minute," I heard the door open and then close again. Dropping the t-shirt, I gently finished unzipping the costume, stepped out of it and pulled on my t-shirt, then packed the costume away in the tissue paper, put it in it's box and then into the cupboard. I pulled on some old boxer shorts and then opened the door again.

Edward and I talked all night, in the glow of my globe shaped night-light, until we had nothing left to talk about. We leant against the pillows, his arms wrapped around me, until we fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, to the sun shining in through the holes in my curtains, he was gone.

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Okay, so another filler/introductory chapter done. REVIEW PLEASE and tell me what you think.

xoxo QOTS


	6. Chapter 6

I know, I know, I'm terrible. I have not updated this story in forever. But here is another chapter. FINALLY. I hope to get lots more up quite quickly because it's the Christmas holidays next week!!!

Also, I know that Bella's birthday is September 13th but for the purpose of this story, I have made it one month later. All will become clear in a few chapters from now.

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I looked up at the sky and scowled. It was going to rain, I knew it. And here I was, out in the middle of the city with no coat and no money to buy one. I could feel the weight of my new costume in its carefully sealed bag, tied in a certain way so that the air wouldn't damage the glitter and feathers. I really resented the bag. I hadn't wanted to come to town, and I certainly didn't want to get the bus back to the outskirts of the city and then walk the five miles to the site because it wasn't on the bus route and no-one would pick me up.

"Cheer up girl, maybe it'll never happen," Some guy said to me as he walked past. That only made me scowl more.

And then there was the other thing that made me cross. The bus wasn't coming for another hour which left me to wander around the shops, looking at things I couldn't afford. I didn't even have any money for a drink.

Schools were letting out as I wandered around the streets, killing time until my bus, ducking into shops and then out again under the stony glare of the assistants. I continually swapped my bag between my left and right hands as it cut into my palms. I still hadn't killed enough time though; I still had half an hour until my bus came. I sat down at the bus shelter and stared at the concrete, looking down at the cracks, the trodden down gum and my scuffed up brogues.

"Look at her shoes" giggled two small girls in blazers and kilts. I gave their backs my evilest glare. It was pretty ineffective.

"Bella!" Someone called my name. I turned and through the glass on the bus shelter I could see Alice, Edward's sister, waving at me.

"Hi!" she squealed, before running around the side of the shelter. She was wearing the same navy blue blazer and kilt as the two girls who had laughed at me, who were now laughing at her. Alice's short hair was tied up with a ribbon that matched her uniform.

"Hey Alice! How are you?"

"I'm great thanks, how are you?" She was practically vibrating.

"I'm cold but I'm fine," I smiled at her

"Hello Bella," Esme walked up behind Alice and kissed me on the cheek "It's lovely to see you dear, are you well?"

"Yes thank you, are you?" I was aware of the shift in my vocabulary – I was always polite to Esme.

"I'm very well, thank you for asking. Alice and I were about to go and get a hot chocolate, would you like to join us? Or are you waiting for a bus?"

"No, well, um, yes, I am but it's not for half an hour yet,"

"Good" Esme said "So you'll come with us,"

"Sure," I grabbed my bag and fell into step between the two of them. I asked Alice about her day and she spent the walk to the café moaning about how dull school was and begging Esme to let her be home schooled. It made me smile – I almost felt like part of a normal family.

We went to the same café that I went to with Edward. My stomach rumbled as the smell of chocolate, coffee and all sorts of other sweet things hit my nose. The only thing I'd eaten so far that day was an apple and I was hungry, but my new costume had to fit perfectly. I looked at the cakes, but told Esme that I would just have a small hot chocolate because my mother would have dinner waiting for me when I got back. While Esme paid, Alice and I grabbed a table with a banquette around it, right by a radiator so that we could warm up. The time passed too quickly – Esme gave me her baby news, Alice talked to me about TV programmes I had never seen and we all talked about fashion. I was gathering up my costume bag to leave when Esme told me to not worry about catching the bus and that she would drive me back, meaning that the hour long bus journey would take only 20 minutes in the car. I settled back into my seat.

The conversation had turned to why Alice shouldn't dye her hair blonde when I saw Edward working his way through the tables in the reflection of one of the mirrors. I took a deep breath to compose myself, then a sip of the complementary water on the table and leant as far back into the seat as I could possibly go.

"I don't know why you always choose this table, Alice," Edward grumbled when he reached the edge of the table – he hadn't seen me yet "it's so difficult to get to-Bella! Hey!" And then he sat down next to me, quite close as well. I felt a thrill run through my body. "How are you?"

"Fine thanks," Under the table he squeezed my hand and smiled at me. I already felt calmer now that Edward was near me. The knot of worry and panic that sat in my stomach most of the time was already disappearing.

"When's your birthday Bella?" Alice asked.

"October 13th" I answered "When's yours?"

"Not for ages – it's March 18th. Yours is so close! Are you having a party? You should have a party! You're going to be 18, right?" I nodded "So you'll be an adult! That is _so_ cool," I glanced at Edward, who grinned at me.

"Um, Alice, I'm not having a party,"

"Oh. Why not?" Why not? Because I'd never had one, I'd never even been to a party. When it was someone's birthday, we'd gather round their trailer, sing to them and then leave them to eat their cake. I hadn't had a birthday cake for a long time now.

I then thought of a brilliant excuse "It's show night, so I'll have to rehearse during the day and then I'll be so tired afterwards, that I won't want to do anything," Alice looked genuinely disappointed so I said "But surely, you're having a birthday party,"

"Of course!" She said, beginning a very long description of exactly what her party would be like. It was nice to sit with the Cullens and feel like a part of their life. Edward and Alice teased each other and Esme joined in sometimes, but spent a lot of time rubbing her bump. All too soon it was time to leave. It was decided that Edward would drive me back, and I felt that rush I always felt when I was around him as he held my hand as we left the café. When Esme and Alice turned back towards where they had parked their car, Edward stopped.

"What's up?" I asked

"I forgot something," he said, looking down at me

"What?"

"This," he said, and leant down and kissed me. I liked kissing Edward. I'd never kissed anyone else, and I didn't know if I was any good or not, but Edward seemed to want to continue, which was a hint to the better. My mom had not been big on the sex education – she just gave me a box of condoms when I turned 14 and told me to "use them well"

"Cheesy line," I told Edward when we finally reached the car.

"It worked, though," he said, opening my door for me. That was another thing I liked about him, he was a perfect gentleman – always opening doors for me and holding my hand when we crossed the street.

The ride home seemed far too short, and I longed for more time with Edward. As we pulled up to my caravan and he cut the engine, he reached across to kiss me, and as usual, when he pulled away, I wanted more. But this want went deeper than that. As he pulled away, eyes half closed, I glanced around – no-one was in sight.

"Do you want to come in?" I murmured.

"Sure," he smiled.

The moment we were inside the caravan, we reached for each other. He was kissing me in a way that was different from before, and I liked it. His hands found the gap between my top and skirt and were soon sliding underneath them. I was glad that he wasn't acting like a gentleman anymore; I shivered and pressed myself closer to him, if that were possible. It was when I began to unbutton his shirt that he began to pull away.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I can't do this,"

"What?" It just fell out of my mouth.

"It's not right. I'm sorry,"

"No you're not," I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I am, really, truly sorry," He seemed genuine but angry words kept pourin out of my mouth.

"No you're not and you can't just make out with me and then leave me, like you did last time and you're doing now! Is this how you see whatever this is," I gestured to myself and then to him.

"Bella, it's not that" he sighed, sitting down on the bed.

"What is it then?"

"I promised," Great.

"Who? Some girlfriend?"

"My late grandmother,"

"What, like the Jonas Brothers? Do you have a promise ring?" I shot back instantly. Then I heard the words "late grandmother" and felt like I was at the bottom of a very deep hole.

"Yeah, I do," He wasn't defiant, just sad, staring down at his hands. I was now feeling like a massive bitch but the horrible words just kept coming out of my mouth. I felt like I was going to cry.

I went and knelt on the floor in front of him, wrapping my hands around his "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to be rude. I-" The words stuck in my throat. I hadn't wanted to be rude, but when I got angry, the only way to get through to Madame Rosita and Marco was to shout, and keep shouting until whatever I was saying got through. But I had forgotten that Edward listened to me.

"No, Bella. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have led you on. It was improper of me and I should have told you," Led me on? I'd invited him in.

"Edward, what I said, I didn't mean it, it was rude, and I-"

"Do you want to see it?"

"The ring?" I nodded dumbly. He was so calm, and together. The knot in my stomach had returned, or maybe I was just hungry. He reached into his pocket with one hand, holding onto mine with the other, and pulled out a thick silver band. He placed it in my palm. There were no markings on it, not even any scratches.

"Why don't you wear it?" I asked.

"I'd get mocked at school, and possibly beaten by the cokeheads I call my classmates," I stared at him – I'd never heard him speak with such vitriol before "I don't believe in the ring," he said.

"Why do you have it then?"

"Just before my grandmother died, she made Alice and I promised we would live our lives properly; she'd already given up on Emmett," He grinned "I mean, fair play to anyone who wants to wear a promise ring, I don't believe in it, not in modern society, but you can't break a death bed promise," I merely nodded in agreement, then got up and sat next to him on the bed, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I said again. I was determined for him to accept my apology. He merely kissed my on the forehead and did say anything.

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Write a review! Go on, you know you want to! xxxxxx


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry about the long wait for an upload - I've got resits coming up and my laptop has been taken away. But here in England we've had snow aplenty so instead of revising today I wrote this. I should have another chapter up in the next couple of weeks. Review and let me know what you think! X

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Edward's house was more intimidating than I had expected. The red brick, three storey, ivy covered house came into view as we turned a corner on the drive. As Edward and I got out of the car, I counted ten large windows on the ground floor, fifteen on the next to floors and five windows in the roof.

The front doors were enormous with huge gold knockers in the middle of them, and looked incredibly heavy, but Edward pushed one open with ease. We stepped into the hallway, which, surprise, surprise, was big as well. There were three other doorways leading off into other rooms, each with the same high painted ceilings and polished floorboards. This wasn't a house, it was a mansion.

"Edward," I said "Your house is beautiful,"

"Thank you," said a voice from behind us; Esme had appeared in one of the doorways "It's so good to see you Bella," she said, kissing me once on each cheek. Dressed in a deep blue wrap dress and matching heels, she looked wonderfully glamorous and fitted in perfectly with her surroundings.

"Once Harold had taken your coat Bella, come through to the lounge and meet everyone; we're having a few drinks before the meal," She smiled warmly at me and walked through the door. As she turned, I could see a slight baby bump that her dress was cleverly disguising.

Who was Harold? I glanced at Edward, who grinned at me, probably seeing the curiosity on my face. Edward had this scary ability to know what I was thinking and so turned to his right and introduced me to Harold, the butler, who actually bowed to me when we were introduced.

"You have a butler?" I whispered to Edward "You never told me that!"

He shrugged and smiled "It never came up," and putting his hand on the small of my back, led me through the doors into a light, airy room, with several large sofas, a fireplace and a bar at one end, with windows overlooking a courtyard that had a fountain in it. A quick head count told me there were about ten people, not including Edward and I, in the room. One of them rushed towards us.

"Bella!" Alice squealed and hugged me. I was beginning to think that I would be disappointed if she didn't greet me like that. Her squeal was loud enough to attract the attention of the rest of the room, who turned to look at us. They were all dressed as smartly as Esme, and Edward, who was wearing a black suit, and his ring. I noticed that Alice had a silver ring too, but it didn't look as out of place on her hand. Edward had told me in the car that they had all been to church and having a big lunch afterwards was a big tradition they shared with another family, whose surname was Stanley.

Carlisle came forward and shook my hand, and then Emmett, who I swear had grown, not that that could be possible, grabbed me into such a forceful hug that he lifted me off the ground.

"Look at you Bella!" He practically shouted "You're all grown up!" All eyes were on me and suddenly I felt really shy, my throat felt dry and sticky, so I just smiled at him "Come and meet my girl, Bella!" He grabbed my hand, and pulled me away from Edward and presented me to a blonde girl sitting on the sofa. I'd been standing at the wrong angle to see her properly before, but now I could, wow.

She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, in real life, or airbrushed in a magazine. Her golden hair was tied up in a bun, but I could tell it would be long when let down, her body had that gym-toned look about it and her legs went on for miles. Her clothes were worn in a way that accentuated every curve of her body, without being slutty or revealing, from the shoulders of her military jacket, down to the toes of her ankle boots.

As with most beautiful people, I expected her to be standoffish and rude, but she turned and gave me a stunning mega-watt smile.

"You must be Bella, I'm Rosalie. It's so good to meet you," She held out her hand and I shook it, smiling back at her. I found my voice and talked to her for a few minutes, while Edward got me a drink from the bar. There were some people that I hadn't been introduced to yet, and I could feel them looking at me. I presumed they were the Stanleys.

Rosalie was so nice and genuine, she asked me about what I did, and wasn't judgemental at all, as I imagined the Stanley's would be. I really liked her. She was studying psychology at the same university as Emmett, and he had pursued her relentlessly for three months before she agreed to go out with him. Emmett looked proud of himself when she said that. When she excused herself to go to the bathroom, one of the people I hadn't met yet came over to me.

She looked like she was about my age, and had blonde hair that definitely dyed, unlike Rosalie's, and was backcombed in a way that most private school girls did. She was wearing a suit, with some really cute pumps, but I could tell that it wasn't the sort of thing she wore normally - the skirt ended just above her knee and looked like it had been taken down several inches – she looked uncomfortable in it. Her face was a bit squashed in, like a pug's.

She stuck out her hand "I'm Jessica Stanley. Who are you?" She was quite rude. I shook her hand anyway.

"Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you," I tried to be polite.

"When did you meet Edward?" She asked, quite aggressively.

"We've known each other since we were young," I answered. I looked down at my glass of wine for something to, wondering where Edward, Alice and Emmett had gone; they'd all disappeared when Rosalie did. Carlisle, Esme and were talking to who I presumed to be Jessica's parents.

"That's funny," She said viciously "He never mentioned you,"

"Well, he never mentioned you either," I shot back. She stared at me for a second and opened her mouth to say something else, when Edward came and put his arm around my waist, and kissed me on the forehead, before announcing to the room that lunch was served.

"I'm sorry that you got stuck with Jessica," Edward said as he led me through to the dining room "She's rather annoying, isn't she?" I felt relieved that Edward liked her as much as I did.

Lunch was served in what was in fact, according to Alice, who had joined us, the spare ballroom. The main ballroom was on the other side of the house. I couldn't believe this. This was like a dream house, or something you might see in a movie, not in real life.

I was seated between Mrs Stanley and Emmett, and opposite Edward. There was no food on the table or anywhere in the room, but there was a lot of cutlery by my place. I was about to ask where the food was, but then I realised that no-one else seemed too bothered that there was nothing to eat. Then a door swung open in a corner and several people came out, carrying plates piled high with food. My stomach turned. Mrs Stanley turned to me; I was almost glad of the distraction.

"So Bella, where did you get this dress from?" She gestured to my green silk dress, it had a tight bodice, with cap sleeves and a large flowing skirt; I had made it with Madame Rosita last winter, from an old dress pattern, but I knew better than to tell her that.

"It's vintage," I lied.

"It's in wonderful condition," She said.

"I know, it was a good find," I lied again.

The first three courses passed without much event. I was relieved to see that not everyone cleared their plate, so I didn't feel bad about not eating all of mine. Emmett was kind enough to whisper in my ear which order to use my cutlery in – I had four forks, four knives and two spoons – and wasn't sure where to begin. Edward made Alice and I laugh a lot, and Rosalie and Emmett regaled us with stories about university life. It made me wish I could go. Carlisle and Esme, at opposite ends of the table, made toasts to everyone, and the new baby.

I'd managed to not eat too much, so that I could still fit into my leotard tonight. But the chef had made such a delicious meal, it felt rude not to try everything, at least once. I particularly liked the roast pork and the asparagus. The wedges of melon wrapped in a thin ham that we had for a starter were delicious.

Just before desert, Mrs Stanley announced she was going to the bathroom. As she stood up, she knocked her glass of red wine over me. I leapt up and jumped backwards, knocking my chair over. I could feel my face growing red. I was so embarrassed. I looked down at my dress to see the red stain growing across like blood and dripping down onto the floor.

"Oh Bella! I am so sorry!" Mrs Stanley said "How clumsy I am!" Jessica sat there with a smirk on her face, while Edward stood up looking furious.

Rosalie stood up, walked around the table and picked up my chair "Come with me, Bella, I'll get you a fresh dress and we'll fix that stain. Sit down Edward," She took my hand and led me out of the room, grabbing a bottle of white wine on her way, before anyone could say anything else. We went up a rather grand staircase, down a long corridor and opened a set of double doors into a beautiful bedroom.

"Take your dress off," she said "If we soak it in this, the stain should come out fine," She opened a door to reveal a bathroom, put the plug in the sink and poured the wine into it. I stepped out of the dress and handed it her. I turned to look at the room – the large four poster bed was the focus of the room but what drew my eye were the clothes – they were everywhere – on the floor, the bed, the window seat, the suitcase. The wardrobe was open and there were lots of hangers in there, but no clothes.

Rosalie came out of the bathroom "Sorry about the mess. I didn't know what to wear to church, that's not really my sort of thing, so I spent a while deciding,"

"I'm the same," I said "I didn't know what to wear today but I thought I'd dress up a bit,"

"Your dress is really nice," Rosalie said, hunting around in her suitcase "How long did it take you to make it? Nice save by saying it was vintage earlier, by the way,"

"About a month, I guess," I looked around the room "So are you sharing this room with Emmett?" I couldn't see any sign of a male presence.

"Are you kidding?" She laughed as she straightened up from her case "Carlisle and Esme would have a fit. They're a good Catholic family, remember?" I nodded "I mean, Emmett and I are sleeping together, but we haven't here. His room is on the other side of the house, y'know?" She handed me a grey jumper and red skirt. "These should be appropriate," I smiled and pulled them on "So tell me about Edward,"

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything, everything,"

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Thoughts? Review!

This chapter is designed to show just how wealthy the Cullens are.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, I have finally decided where this story is going, so updates should be coming faster now. Thank you so much for your reviews so far! X

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I wasn't sure what Rosalie was asking. Did she want gossip, or was she just being genuinely nice?

She smiled at me and said "I won't tell anyone; you just seemed nervous earlier, when you came in,"

"I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure," I confessed "Edward is so good and perfect and nice, and….I live in a trailer,"

"No-one's perfect,"

"Edward's pretty close," I slumped back onto the bed.

"Are you sure about that Bella?" She came and sat next to me "He was telling Alice and Emmett something about you and a ring when I came out of the bathroom, but they shut up when they saw me. And Bella, I feel pressured too. The reason Emmett had to chase me for so long was si that I could make sure he was genuine. I've had bad experiences with jocks like him in the past, and so I was nervous too. And don't let where you are now stop you going places in the future. You wouldn't know it to look at me, Bella, but I'm from a pretty rough inner city estate. I had a tough upbringing; absent parents, not much money, et cetera. But I had a teacher who believed in me, and I worked hard to get out. And I did, with a full scholarship,"

"That's amazing," She waved my praise away with her hand.

"And what about you? Edward says you turn eighteen soon. Where are you going to university; he mentioned that you'd already finished high school?"

"I was homeschooled, by my dad and then by myself. And with the university thing, I'd have to get out of the circus, before I can even think about that,"

"Well, if you got out, what would you want to do?"

"Art or English,"

"Well I can think of a great university that has some excellent courses in both those subjects," She nudged her college sweater with the toe of her boot. We sat quietly for a minute.

"Rosalie, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Fire away,"

"That thing that Edward, Emmett and Alice were talking about was because he won't even make out with me properly because of his promise ring. I know that he doesn't believe in it properly, but he made a deathbed promise to one of his grandparents or something. I want us to work but relationships should be equal, right? And I'm not just interested in his personality if you know what I mean-"

"I know, Bella. And you want to know how to make him go further than a simple kiss, without it being all about sex?"

I nodded.

"Just talk to him, Bella; tell him how you feel. If he likes you, and wants to be with you, then he'll listen and I'm sure you can come to some sort of agreement. Can you do that?" I nodded again "Then let's go downstairs, I think Paulo said something about meringue for desert.

After the meal ended, Jessica, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and I went to the 'den', which was like the lounge with a widescreen TV and lots of games consoles as well as sofas and a fireplace.

"Have you ever played Band Hero?" Edward asked me.

"No, what is it?"

"How have you not heard of Band Hero?" Jessica's voice came from the corner of the room "Anyone normal has,"

I ignored her and turned back to Edward, who patiently explained to me how the game worked. He wrapped his arms around me to show me how to hold the guitar and I felt my breath catch in my throat, like it did whenever he was close to me.

"What time do you have to be back?" Edward asked me, his breath tickling my ear.

"Six – the show starts at seven," I replied

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Sure," I handed the guitar to Rosalie, who smiled at me. We collected our coats from Harold, and then headed out of the front door. Edward led me across the drive and into the woods, following a little gravel path.

The grounds around Edward's house were beautiful. We walked through the woods, into a beautiful clearing that ended with a sheer cliff face at the end which looked across the city. We ended up, after walking for an hour, holding hands and talking, in the walled rose garden. He laid his smart suit jacket out on the grass and we sat there in silence, looking at the last of the roses' blooms.

"Can we talk, Edward?"

A nervous look crossed his face for a second, before he said "Sure, but what else have we been doing for the last hour?" I smiled.

"I really like you, Edward,"

"I like you, Bella," He said, looking confused.

"But-"

"I knew there was a but!"

"Listen!" He mimed zipping his mouth shut.

"But us, being together, won't work, unless we both get what we want out of this relationship,"

"What do we want?"

"I want you,"

"And I want you,"

"You don't want all of me," I mumbled, looking down at my hands. I glanced up at him – he didn't look so confused anymore. I kept going, before he could interrupt me "Edward, I'm not saying that we need to have sex, I don't know if I'm ready for that, but I want more than a quick kiss on the lips. It's not like you'll kill me with one kiss," He was quiet for a few minutes.

"What do you think?" I asked. He didn't say anything, he just kissed me. This was different from his other kisses – it was passionate, with an edge to it, but at the same time, unsure. I kissed him back, and I could feel him smile as I ran my hands through his hair. I took his hands, which were resting on my shoulders, and put them under my coat, onto my jumper.

As he kissed my neck, still tentative, I said "You can move your hands, you know,"

"I know,"

"Go on then," I said, with just a hint of a challenge. He pulled back, smiled at me and then ducked his head so that his face was partially hidden by his hair. He carefully lifted up my jumper, and put his hands on my bare skin. It felt so good. I began to undo the top button of his crisp white shirt as I kissed him again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me. His hands moved up to the back of my bra. As I began to undo some more of the buttons on his shirt, he pulled away.

"Edward…" I said, my breathing heavy.

"Bella, we need to go. You don't want to me late, do you?" I shook me head. He stood up, and held his hand out for me. After making ourselves presentable, we headed back to his house together.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry about the delay - school has been a nightmare. Please review - I love hearing what you think about what I'm writing.

Oh, and check out my blog: www . florenceengland . blogspot . com

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"Happy birthday Bella," Jake said as he handed me my present. I unwrapped it eagerly; presents had been a little thin on the ground this year. When the other acrobats (and Jacob) sang 'Happy Birthday' to me in rehearsals that morning, Madame Rosita had glanced from her accounts and said to me "Is it your birthday _today_, baby? How old are you now?"

Jake had given me a beautiful wooden box with gold metal stars on it that sat perfectly in the palm of my hand, and had a tiny golden key in the lock. "Oh Jake, its lovely,"

"The present is inside, stupid,"

"Oh," I was secretly relieved. Opening the box, I pulled out a long, thin, gold chain with a charm in the shape of a wolf hanging from it.

"Thank you so much Jake, it's gorgeous,"

"I'm glad you like it,"

"Like it? I love it! Thank you so much," I tried to fasten it round my neck, but the clasp was too small and fiddly for my clumsy fingers.

"Let me help," Jake said, taking it from me. He stood behind me and, brushing my hair to one side, did the clasp up, and then gently pulled me to the mirror so that I could look at it.

"Jake, it's gorgeous. Thank you," I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. He gave me a strange look before pulling back and sitting on my bed.

"Stop saying that," he mumbled, picking up one of my pillows and looking at it intently.

Ignoring his mood swings, I continued getting ready for my party at Edward's house. According to my boyfriend (I loved calling him that), Alice had spent the last week getting it ready. With my back to Jacob, I kicked off my rehearsal leggings and pulled my t-shirt over my head and tried to decide on which dress to wear.

"Jesus Bella! What are you doing?" I didn't turn around.

"Getting dressed. Do you have a problem with that?" I couldn't see what the problem was. Jake and I had seen each other in our underwear loads of times; there was no room backstage for dressing rooms and I often needed help getting in and out of my costumes.

"That's not the problem, Bella,"

"Then what's up?" I turned to face him, putting my hands on my hips as I did so.

"You're tiny, Bella,"

"And you're a giant, but you don't hear me complaining,"

"No Bella, you're tiny. I can see your spine when you bend over and your ribs as well. And look how much your shoulder blades stick out! I don't want to ruin your birthday by someone needs to say this to you. I didn't realise how bad it's got and it doesn't show as much in the dark, or when you're performing. Are you throwing up your food again? Are you eating at all? Please promise you'll eat today, and not worry about what Marco and your Mom tell you,"

Suddenly I was very conscious that I was just in my bra and panties.

"Shut up Jacob!" I snapped, my barriers went straight up. Although he said everything to me calmly, as usual, I took it straight to heart. I didn't have a very thick skin and I could never take criticism well "Get out! My body is mine and it belongs to me and what I do with it is up to me! It had nothing to do with you at all! It's none of your business, so get out!" I opened the door and pointed at it imperiously. Jake sighed and heaved himself off my bed.

"Have a nice time at your party Bella, sorry I upset you," he said as I closed the door. I blocked out what he had said and focused on the task at hand – what I was going to wear.

"You look beautiful, Bella," Edward said as he collected me, kissing my quickly on the lips "Happy birthday," I could feel the last rays of the summer sun on my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Is this new?" he asked, running his hand over the chain of Jacob's necklace where it sat on my collarbone. My breath caught in my throat, the way it always did when he touched me unexpectedly.

"It was a present from Jacob,"

"He has excellent taste," Edward said as he held the door open for me. On the way to his house Edward let me pick the music from one of the three iPods in the glove box. I chose some bubbly pop music that he didn't really like but I was in a good mood and it was clear Edward was too, because although he claimed not to like the songs, he knew the words to all the choruses.

When we arrived at the house, there were balloons tied to the front gate, and then bunches of them were dotted along the drive.

"Did anyone even try to reign Alice in?" I asked.

Edward laughed "No. And I have a feeling that Rosalie and Esme may have helped her a little bit," Then he smiled his beautiful crooked smile at me, which always made me go weak at the knees. I never saw him smile that anyone, except his horse, Cleo, so I knew that it meant something pretty special.

By the front doors were two enormous balloon bouquets and waiting beside them were Carlisle, Alice, Emmett, Esme and Rosalie.

"Happy Birthday Bella!" They cried as I got out of the car. Alice ran over and hugged me "You're an adult now, Bella!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I glanced back at Edward, who just smiled at me.

Still pulling me along, Alice led me up to the front door where everyone hugged me. I reached out and found Edward's hand. Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house. I kept a tight hold on Edward. In the hall stood Harold, holding a tray of glasses filled with champagne. Edward released his hand from mine, and took two, handing one to me.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" He said, holding his glass aloft. Everyone else echoed him. I felt so special for that moment, with around me, standing the sunlight that was filtering in through the windows.

"Toast's over!" Alice said "Let's go open presents!" She grabbed me hand again – the girl was a force of nature.

"Alice, let the girl walk for herself," Emmett said. I shot him a quick smile. Alice let go of my hand and I followed her through to the dining room, where a huge pile of presents sat on the table. I stopped still – I'd never seen so many presents.

Rosalie stood beside me and gave me a gentle push in the small of my back. I took a step forward. "Are they all for me?" I asked.

"Of course they are," Alice said "It's no-one else's birthday," I admitted Alice's tell-it-like-it-is, no holds barred policy. Sometimes I wished that I could be like that.

As well as the pile of presents that I felt like I didn't deserve, there were mountains of food and several vases of flowers. It looked like something from a magazine editorial, and I had a feeling that this was not an unusual thing for the Cullens to have.

Edward pulled back a chair for me at the head of the table, then sat down on my right, filled me a plate of food. I picked up a cupcake and bit into it to show willing, even if Jacob wasn't there. Alice handed me a present, which I unwrapped quickly, with encouragement from Emmett yelling "Tear!" Inside was a box, and in the box was a pair of glittering heels.

"Thank you so much!" I said.

"Don't thank us, keep opening!" Esme said "We had fun choosing the presents for you," I opened the other presents, in between eating cupcakes, macaroons, finger sandwiches and other sweet treats.

My other presents included a beautiful brown leather bag, an amazing dress, an iPod loaded with my favourite songs and a mobile phone, as well as lots of trinkets and other bits. I still couldn't believe that they'd given me all these things. I stared at the bag, running my hand over the soft leather as I lay on Edward's bed with him.

His room was huge – there was an empty space in the middle of it, there was that much space. His king size bed was the main focus of the room, with a desk under one of the three big windows and in the corner nearest to the door was a grand piano.

"Thank you so much for this," I said.

"It was no problem, Bella, really,"

"No-one's ever got me so many beautiful things,"

"Well, a beautiful girl deserves beautiful things," He said, rolling over and kissing me on the lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him closer to me.

Life was pretty good right now.

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